Welcome To
Couples & The Enneagram
Using the Enneagram to improve communication, conflict resolution, connection and understand common relationship patterns.
Hi. I’m Michelle Joy
Michelle Joy, LMFT, is a couples therapist, coach, and certified Enneagram teacher. She created The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™, a pioneering approach that transforms conflict into connection by blending the Enneagram with cutting-edge developmental methods.
Services for Therapists & Couples
Book
The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™ shows couples how to transform conflict, deepen connection, and move toward wholeness—not by erasing difference, but by learning how to engage with it consciously
Explore your Enneagram
This assessment is designed to help you discover your dominant Enneagram Type based on your experiences in intimate relationships. Your results will include your primary type, your runner-up types, and practical tips for growing and thriving.
Enneagram Relationships Lab Monthly Membership
The Enneagram Relationships Lab is a monthly subscription group that turns insight into real-world transformation with tools designed for your type relationship.
Consultations for Professionals
Working with couples can be one of the most rewarding—and most challenging—paths in our field. When conflict patterns run deep, even seasoned therapists and coaches can feel stuck or unsure how to help partners move forward.
Coaching for Couples
Transform conflict into connection. Grow closer by understanding your type. Most couples think their challenges come from being “too different.” But the truth is—it’s not your differences that create distance, it’s how you manage them.
Workshops for Professionals
Interactive workshops for therapists, coaches, and helping professionals on blending the Enneagram with developmental methods — offering practical tools to navigate conflict and transform couples work. This integration is often the missing link that helps partners move from stuck patterns into real connection.
New to the Enneagram?
Explore your type with the Couples & The Enneagram Typing Assessment™ (CETA)— the only test designed to indicate your type through the lens of relationship patterns, communication, and connection.
Bring Michelle to Your Audience
Michelle has shared her expertise with organizations including:
My book:
The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™
We often think our struggles come from our differences. In truth, differences are not the problem—they are the source of vitality, creativity, and growth in a relationship. The real challenge is how we manage those differences.
The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™ shows couples how to transform conflict, deepen connection, and move toward wholeness—not by erasing difference, but by learning how to engage with it consciously.
Highlights
- A new lens on conflict: Why your differences create friction—and how they can instead become the foundation of connection
- Self-differentiation: Staying grounded in who you are while speaking your truth.
- Differentiation of other: Receiving your partner without collapsing, overreacting, or misinterpreting their behavior.
- The Developmental Enneagram™ applied: How each type resists, avoids, or breaks down in differentiation—and the specific pathways to growth.
- The 3 Relational Projections™ (Michelle Joy’s proprietary framework): How we unconsciously project onto our partner—and how to reclaim those stories for deeper clarity.
- Neuroscience of connection: How the brain reacts under stress, and tools to regulate and rewire for healthier relating.
- Practical growth tools for each type: Concrete practices to repair conflict, increase emotional safety, and strengthen connection.
Enneagram Summit for the Helping Profession
An annual online gathering where therapists, coaches, and growth-oriented professionals explore how the Enneagram can deepen their work. Featuring world-class teachers, thought-provoking conversations, and practical tools, the Summit equips helping professionals to integrate Enneagram wisdom into therapy, coaching, and organizational settings. NEXT SUMMIT: May 18th-22nd, 2026
What people are saying
“Today was exactly what we expected and very much met our needs! Michelle was so reassuring and made us feel so comfortable. It has only been one week since we attended the workshop, and my husband and I are already seeing the benefits from the workshop and the tools we learned. The workshop was very beneficial and I definitely recommend it to all couples!”
“This was a great workshop and worth every penny. We are coming away with useful and practical tools to implement in daily life, in a non-threatening format. I feel more heard and understood than I ever have before by my husband. Thank you!“
“Today’s curriculum was fantastic. Michelle Joy is a wonderful instructor and I really enjoyed how she presented and discussed the topics. I highly recommend this workshop to many other couples that I know. Top notch and 2 thumbs up!”
The Couples Institute Communication Workshop was absolutely wonderful and I am so happy that my husband and I were able to attend. This will undoubtedly change your marriage in the most positive way! You will gain knowledge on how to grow and rebuild connection with your partner and break old patterns of ineffective communication. I absolutely loved it! Michelle is kind and clear in her teaching.”
“I was fairly apprehensive before we went to the workshop, because I don’t like to share feelings in public, so it was a relief to find out that I wouldn’t have to. The day was at times intense and at other times fun. My partner and I explored some issues that have been dogging us for years and learned new ways of dealing with them. Michelle provided some very helpful insights into what gets in the way of us communicating with each other, as well as some tips for how to solve problems rationally, rather than allowing our reactivity to get in the way. Highly recommend it to couples at any stage of a relationship!”
“My husband and I found the Couples Communication Workshop to be terrific. Michelle is a great teacher and made us both feel very comfortable – it was wonderful to know that none of the couples would be asked to process or practice the exercises in front of the group. We not only felt good about the issue we processed and negotiated at the workshop, but also had an extremely wonderful outcome when we applied what we learned at home. Take the workshop! Even with a reluctant partner, we both got very much out of the day.”
“As a result of attending the Couples Communication Workshop, we learned a lot about conflict resolution, and truly understanding each other. We left the workshop with a positive view and outlook on our relationship. Absolutely take the workshop! It is worth your time.”
”As a result of attending your Couples Communication Workshop, we have made significant progress that had not been achieved using any other resource. We are still applying the tools we learned even after the workshop is over, and continue to have successes. Your class had a strong, positive effect on our marriage, thank you!”
“I attended Michelle’s Enneagram class with my husband. I can’t think of anything I would change about it– it was super helpful and an informative way to learn about each other. You will learn a lot about yourself and other people that you are in relationship with. Go!”
“I appreciate the deep experience and understanding of the Enneagram that Michelle offered. The class was excellent. Do it, it’s worth every dollar.”
Other Resources
Podcast
Enjoy Michelle’s Podcast all about Couples Relationships and the Enneagram. Click here to tune in!
Downloadable Enneagram Audio
Would you like quick information on how the 9 Types present in relationships, both strengths as well as challenges? Click here!