Book
🌿 The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™ Coming Spring 2026
I’m excited to share a milestone: my upcoming book, The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™, A Guide for Coaches, Therapists and Couples to Transform Conflict into Connection, scheduled to release in Spring 2026.
For almost 25 years, I’ve been blending the Enneagram with the lens of differentiation in my clinical work. I’ve been teaching this approach to couples, therapists, coaches and practitioners alike, and this book is the next step in bringing that work more widely into the world.
📖 Over the coming months, I’ll be sharing sneak peeks into my step-by-step frameworks — including how Enneagram projections, defenses, arrows and differentiation all interweave into a powerful approach to transform conflict into connection.
These frameworks were forged in the fire of real relationships and practice — shaped through sitting with couples in thousands of conversations, ruptures, and breakthroughs.
Often our default reaction to differences is to blame, attack, or withdraw— but the key is whether we understand how to transform those patterns into connection and growth- at the root..
Relationships are a transformational crucible, where the other becomes our greatest mirror and teacher. They are the laboratory where we integrate our fragmented selves and help our partner do the same…. a back-and-forth dance of returning each other to wholeness. This book illuminates that path.
Featured Highlights
What You’ll Discover in This Book
A new lens on conflict: Why your differences create friction—and how they can instead become the foundation of connection.
The role of differentiation
Self-differentiation: Staying grounded in who you are while speaking your truth.
Differentiation of other
Receiving your partner without collapsing, overreacting, or misinterpreting their behavior.
The Developmental Enneagram™ applied
How each type resists, avoids, or breaks down in differentiation—and the specific pathways to growth.
The 3 Relational Projections™ (Michelle Joy’s proprietary framework):
How we unconsciously project onto our partner—and how to reclaim those stories for deeper clarity.
Neuroscience of connection
How the brain reacts under stress, and tools to regulate and rewire for healthier relating.
Practical growth tools for each type
Concrete practices to repair conflict, increase emotional safety, and strengthen connection.
A Transformational Shift
Your partner is not the problem.
They are not the obstacle to your wholeness.
They are the teacher and backdrop against which you are invited to grow. Through your relationship, you are given the chance to reintegrate your shadow, shift old patterns, and reclaim deeper authenticity.
The higher your differentiation, the greater your capacity for:
- Clearer communication
- More resilient conflict resolution
- Authentic closeness
- Moving into higher levels of health within your Enneagram type
This is where transformational change happens—not at the surface, but at the root.
Coming Spring 2026
The Developmental Enneagram for Couples™ integrates over two decades of clinical experience, the wisdom of the Enneagram, developmental theory, and neuroscience.
It is a guide for couples and professionals alike—those who want more than surface solutions and are ready to engage with the deeper patterns that create lasting transformation
